Right Start to What?

Today I had my right start appointment at the hospital. This is basically a physical on steroids. They herd us in like cattle. Check our weight (187lb woohoo back to pre-holiday weight), height (short as always), blood pressure, and vision test. Then they make all hundred or so sit and listen to stupid medical humor and watch slide shows about nothen I ever use. Then I get the honor of getting my ears tested because they should be getting bad from aircraft engine noise, shots for TB, Flu, and oh small pox (which is funny because everyone says it doesn't exist anymore, yeah right), then I get asked 101 questions. Finally I get the turn your head and cough, which has to be better than the bend over and um better make it two.

Here is a new one this cool mental health doc came in and gave an impromptu speech about suicide. Usually we get this general on video, looking like he droppin a big terd because he straining to read slide. Such a bore. This colonel was cracking jokes and making serious points that made sense for a change. Instead of me proppin my eyes open with a government pen I actually listened to his message. I'm actually thinking of going to life skills (mental health's new name so it doesn't sound for crazy people), seems that a lot of people that I work with think I need to get some anger management class, I just chalk it up to them being dumbass. I guess I could if he was my doc.

He also made me think of one liners and phrases you live by. He said something about ladies you might trust every guy you meet but remember even Arabs tie up there camels at night. This reminds me of 5 thinks sayings that I always live by:

1. Never trust a guy who has a butt chin.
2. Never trust a person who combs their hair down the middle, also forms an ass on there head.
3. No such thing as a military mustache, you all look like guys that hang out by the school grounds looking for children or Hitler.
4. Never trust someone with a crooked eye, if you can't look me straight in the eye we got problems.
5. Never trust a women with a butt in the front, or FAPA (Fat Above Pussy Area).

I know this is pretty harsh but hey I still give everyone a chance. These people just have to try harder to get my confidence. I mean if your a girl with nice beef curtains you can be trusted with all my possessions.