Theme Song

For my loving fans I thought I would add a theme song. Actually I always like to screw with my page so this is my new addition. Right now for this week only it will play automatically. I know it will get annoying fast so I will change it so people will have to access it later if they want to hear it. I hope all the new followers enjoy. Tell me what ya all think.

Then and Now (part 1)

I have wondered around tons of blogs this weekend trying to pass the time. Between this I have talked on AOL, Yahoo, and various other means with friends about stuff that is going on now and stuff that had happened in the past. After the fact I realized that not everyone who reads my page will ever in fact know me the true SHAWN!

You all get the glimpse of the drunken, funny, interesting, sometimes boring, and curious man that I am now. However if there are more people that act like me then they are saying I wonder how he got this way. This will probably be the part 1 because I will add stuff later. Since I already put the parenthesis around part 1 then its official. I will bring you from when I was hatched to HS, for now and then HS-Military in part 2, followed by Military to present day. Wow I can get three blog post out of this maybe more if I ramble a lot.

Well if you’re going to begin you have to start with birth. I was born at 12:58 am just having missed Easter Mar 27th 1978 (yep I will be 27 soon), in corning hospital NY to Leon Shaut and Beth Elliott. Oh yeah I am a bastard child for you that are now surprised. My dad was on his ship on the Panama Canal at my delivery time serving in the U.S. Army. Well soon after he got out and we originally lived as a happy family in Campbell NY. However do to the landlords we found ourselves moving to a trailer on my Grandparents 8 acre plot. Wow I am a bastard trailer trash baby; you would think I grew up in Alabama. Needless to say my parents got married in 1980 and unbenounced to them my brother Mike made the wedding but was inside my momma’s belly. He was born in Feb 1981. I have an older half brother named Joe who is from my dad’s first marriage. Being the oldest in the house, but middle child overall kinda sucks. Every time Joe did something wrong I was in trouble, every time Mike cried, I was in trouble. God forbid I talked back; I was going to get a whoopin. Some might not agree with spanking or whoopin your kid, but I am as normal a person you will find, and I used to get them until I was a teenager and I promise you I learned from them.

Well living in Erwin was not what you call a great deal. In fact it sucked goat balls. That is why I claim either Corning 11 min from my house or Campbell 9 min from my house and where I graduated from High School. If you count my brother and my dogs as friends than I had one, I hate my brother. Peppy my child hood dog born a few days before me lived along time, but he past away before I grew into teen hood. I also had a cute cat named charcy that was charcoal color that was murdered on my kindergarten graduation by the asshole drunk neighbors. A year later in 85 my mom’s cat fluffy had kittens and I kept George Henry Bigfoot Shaut (Bigfoot for short). He had 7 claws on each of his paws. That cat was crazy to; he was my alarm clock all through school. At exactly 6am he would jump on my chest and wake me up every week day morning and some weekends.

Elementary school was okay, but most people don’t know this, but they sent me to special classes for reading and writing. I still hate reading and am slow at it, but writing I think they just never got my style and well my spelling always was terrible. I had a few cute girlfriends through those years and well even if it was harmless dancing and kissing I wish I new what happened when we grew up back then, J/K. There was Allison Kramer (who last time I saw was still a fox), she invited me to a pool party even though I can’t swim and I was the only boy. Woohoo!!! Then for the next 3-4 yrs I spent chasing Laurel Finn and later after she left our school she won Miss Teen NY. Then when I was about 10 a family moved in up the road and Nicole Jones was the same age as me, I think we were b/f and g/f about as long as it takes a cheese burger to cook at McD’s. I consider her the one who got away. Following this I dated Kelly Geyer, but that was like a ploy to get to her friend Crystal Nash (who moved to FL after our 6th grade year) that I had a huge crush on. I then dated Bridget Keegan which was just a fling that kept the phone on and my dad pissed. I also dated a girl named Christina from Texas every summer, but god help me I don’t know her last name. I also had a pen pal love affair with Melissa Ketrow a girl who has family near me, but lived in NJ.

Those days had me remembering why I was such an angry crazy guy in High School. I used to get my ass kicked on the bus and they would take my lunch/money. I learned to be the small guy with a big attitude and run fast. I was good in school grade wise. I was one of those kids that knew how much he had to do to get by and that’s what I did. I remember finishing in the top of my class every year in that stupid athletic award test, but never was the first one picked for sports. I mean my parents never let me participate in after school programs until my 8th grade year and then only because my grandma said she would pick me up. My best friend through my junior high years was Marlin Ballance, he lived not to far from me and we rode the same bus. Easy to get permission to visit his house and was on the way for pick-up for my parents. We used to play on our basketball courts for hours acting out real NBA games and stuff. We traded sports cards did normal best friend stuff. I miss him everyday. Brian Austin was my summer buddy also because his family was in racing and mine was to, so every Friday and sat nights you would find us at the race track.

Highlights of my youth would have to be running into my grandparent’s house racing bikes. That was extreme sports back then, lol. Being the first one to catch a kick ball hit by Brett Deming and becoming a kick ball icon. Finally the reason why I didn’t get my ass kicked all through HS. Seems that one day Jim Seely and the boys were picking on me as always on the way home from school. You have to know Jim was like sophomore junior at the time, well I guess I just flipped because I put everything my 98lb frame had behind it and split his lip open. He thrashed me good, but it didn’t hurt at all. I had earned my right of passage, later we apologized and never fought again. It became my bus after that year. The spring of my 8th grade year was full of rumors and concerns. Campbell and Savona had voted on a merge so instead of being Campbell Red Jackets and Savona Bulldogs we would be Campbell-Savona Panthers starting my freshman year. New faces, new friends, new stories.

To Be Continued...............................................

Recoup Saturday

Well after my long night of drinking I spent Saturday recouping. I either am getting to old to be the young stud drinker I once was or this alcohol and beer here has a bad effect on my body. I think it is the later because I have been in the drinking ring doing the tequila twostep with a good ole boy from Texas. If that didn't ruin me than why should this stuff. Anyway it wasn't as bad as the first time so hopefully it will only get better.

I decided to only leave my room twice, the first to get food at the choke and puke, I mean dining facility. The second was at around 930 because I was so thirsty I had to walk to the shoppette to get some soda and fruit juice to drink. Let me tell you I froze my ears off. I should have wore a hooded jacket or beanie.

When I got back and chugged a few pops (my northern language coming out) and the tropicana fruit drink, I decided I was bored. This meant only one thing I scrolled through my favorite blogs looking for anything good. Well for me it sucked because I have been so bored lately that I had read just about evryhing on them. Then I decided to work on mine a bit. Until I got aggravated not being able to do what I wanted and quit that. I did see a ad for the 2005 Bloggies annual awards. I took two hours surfing through and voting on my favorites. To tell you the truth I was very disappointed in what ones had been selected in most categories. I couldn't understand why people would read some of them. They were boring, some where ad filled, and others were just blah all around. Next year I want to know how to nominate blogs for it and get some that I would really be proud to vote on. I mean it was as bad as college sports polls like all the writers kissed each others ass over a nomination. Maybe I will start my own awards, now that would be fun.

The Crawl

As I crawled out of bed this afternoon I realized two things. One I was feeling alright for how drunk I had been. Two wow what a night of club hopping. This was the first time I had hung out with guys from my shop, so I didn't know what to expect. We started the night off at a place that straight up looked like a ghetto, but only on the outside. Inside it had to be one of the nicest clubs in town it's name is the gecko. The owner and workers were nice and they had darts and pool to play there. We were definitely feeling no pain after there. Then we wandered down to the Bermuda triangle, now this place seems to be a straight up drinking pub, not to busy and not really my style. While we was there we hit a bunch of shots and another guy showed up from work. He talked a few of us into going to Zanadus (I think that is how it's spelled) I can't remember that well I was drunk remember. After more shots and less talk, Mike and I finally went to Eckos to see his friend from his last base. This place was another hole in the wall joint, but it was cool because we could choose the songs to play and everything. The night ended at the Monaco, another classy joint that will definitely get a revisit. Then came the stubble home before curfew. I made it on base after I figured out where I had put my stupid id. It wasn't that cold and I stumbled to my room. Threw my cloths on the floor, took 5 aspirin for the morning pain, and dozed off to sleepy time.

Mike stopped by and woke me up, he looked like he had been beat up. Sometime after we left Monacos he had to have fell or something because his hand and face looked like he had been punched. All I know is he wasn't in a fight or anything because I would have stopped it or got involved for sure. My friends don't get whacked on for free. Well I think I will go out again tonight but not drink just hang out.

Disclaimer

I remember back in the day when I wrote a sports column for my last base I always put a disclaimer, mainly because I am shitty at spelling and grammar. Well I need to throw one in tonight. After a week of no drinking, barely eating, and no sleep. I am going out to get wasted as I can before midnight curfew. So below will be my disclaimer for tonight.

Disclaimer: If you see me on my face please pick up and return me to dorm 476 room 201. If I shall figure out how to type anything when I get back let it be so funny and totally not of any reasonable thought that I will not be able to stay in my chair laughing so hard. If by chance I get lucky, let it not be with a fat hairy chick so help me god.

See you all on the flip side of this Quarter!!!

Stuck on a Bus!

As I sit there stuck on a bus, during a simulated attack for more than an hour, thoughts started running through my mind. I mean some of the weirdest things from what am I going to type about on my blog to what was I going to eat when I got back to my dorm room. I even thought about the last time I was stuck on a bus.

I can remember it like it was yesterday even though it was Dec 6th 2002, I had been invited by my friend Jesse (Opie, Opslice, Jelly-O, ect nicknames) to go to Berlin with Sandie (the stuck-up ice queen butch) for the Foo Fighters concert on Friday. The concert went great, not to mention some hot Scottish chick has a picture of me and doesn’t even know my name, go figure the story of my life. Since I don’t know her name either. Well we didn’t go home until Monday, so that meant we had all day Sunday to do site seeing. We decided to go by bus to Checkpoint Charlie and a few other sites to include the remains of the Wall. The problem all started when we tried to get back to the hotel. We missed our stop because unlike most buses you have to press this red button before your stop or you don't get off. So we stayed on the bus thinking it would loop back around. Plus Jesse decided to pull the big bleeding heart move out on Sandie, which turned into an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer as she put a stake through Jesse's chest. He got one of my all time favorites "the I just want to be friends, who cares how you feel about me" lines. I on the other hand was stuck sitting with the only old lady who speaks English in Berlin and she was playing ask the American 200 questions. Well after getting the full by bus tour of the city it ended up at the main train center and ended operations. So we scrambled to find another bus that took us back to the hotel, which was now on the other side of town. We decided on one that look to stop near our street. We let it roll on, but none of the streets came up that we wanted and somehow we stayed on until this bus reached it's end. Then the driver kicked us off. So lets recapped three non-German speaking Americans lost in Berlin in like -30 degree weather, sitting in a bus stop, and it was now a dark 6pm. After 15-20 minutes I had found out that the bus stops on a parallel street and now knew where to get off and I guess the driver had his smoke break because he decided to pick us back up. After a few stops we got off a few blocks from the hotel. We walked to the room and I snuggled up in my warm bed for the night, Sandie did the same in hers, and well Jesse decided to get drunk and throw up at 4am Monday morning waking me up. Needless to say it was a far from a fun day on the bus.

Well the all clear sounds and we travel to the dorms so I can type and eat, thank god one more day in the life and times of Shawn Shaut down.

Sirens Acallin

As the siren sounds for one more air attack during this exercise I dawn my gas mask for what seems to be an eternity. Usually they are nice on us and keep us in it for hour or so, but there was the one 3 and half hour one the other day. The mask are so uncomfortable, but as I lay almost lifeless as to not mess with it I realize that it is here to save my pathetic life. Wow that was dramatic writing. Really I hate these training maneuvers, but when your in the military you have to remember that you can be asked to fulfill your duty any day. Being 1 hr and 45 min from the DMZ makes you a speed bump for the fifth largest army in the world. What makes it worse is when an army fights for freedom and for all the stuff it doesn't have. Just remember what happened to the British when the colonies fought back. The North Koreans barely have power, food, and rights, so why would they let the South bask in it's glory forever. It seems that something will happen eventually weather it be peace and reunification or all out combat. Lets just hope it happens at least 11 months from now when I am off this peninsula.

In other news someone actually visited my site by searching for blogs on Korea. They must have been pissed when they found out that this one is not really about Korea, but about me. Why can't I get crazy people looking for slugs to see mine.

You Are 28 Years Old

28 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Wow and I was always told act your age. Now this test reveals that I have always acted older than what I am. Even if it is only by 1yr and 2 months.

Borrowed from Emily @ the remedy

Commando Style

So there I was sitting in my gas mask for 3 and half hours thinking, would someone please make a tool to pick my nose through a rubber mask. No really it itched so bad and bothered me to the point if it was a real chemical attack I would have pulled my mask off and died. On other note I was sweating dawg balls, which I don't know exactly what that means but sounds real bad. To be honest I would have been even hotter if I wore underwear, but I do as we military men say go AZ for 4 yrs I just couldn't take the heat, so I tried it and from there the rest is history. If I try to wear boxers like I used to I end up playing with my junk like a baseball player getting ready to play. Don't worry I wash my hands like everyone else so there no ball smell later.

This having to go to bed by 9pm to wake up at 4 shit has to stop. I mean what do they think I am a machine that works without food or proper rest. I mean everytime I tried to get something to eat today I had to dawn my gas mask. I understand we have to be prepared for anything, but unlike when we go through inspection, the real thing is utter find away to get the job done. Like all good commanders say "in the end we put bombs on targets". As any good loader would say "we load bombs so that, heaven and hell can stay in business" or "kill them all and let god sort them out". I can truthfully say that if you think about what I do it would make you sick, but then again we fight for democracy and the prosperity of it. I am not going to rant today because I am tired but soon I will go on about it in a sure to be 5hr post :).

Whatelse can I dabble in today that is on my mind. Nothing really I guess I am mentally sapped out. Yeah there is some thoughts in my pee nugget of a brain, so don't act surprised, other than I am a lose for words which never happens.

So I am off like a prom dress in the back of her daddy's new car!

The Key to a Good Post

Well after working a 12hr shift eating meals out of a bag, watching a door, and practically wanting to be shot and put out of my misery. I got off at 558 pm just in time to haul ass with my 45lb sack to the bus stop. I mean the shift before me couldn't have shown up any later and me still make the bus. However I didn't grab my jacket and keys my friend did so I didn't have to re-enter the building. This was a big mistake because I didn't have my keys when I got half way home, I realized they were still in my locker. I got to spend a good hr and half locked out of my room until a night shifter could run them by. All I wanted was sleep after that.

The keys to a good post for me is to be funny, still be informative in some right, and make your readers want to comeback to read more. Will this one do it.....Probably not because after sleeping 8hrs I still feel like shit. Well I probably look like for that matter. Now I have to go back to work. I swear the three worse words in my vocabulary is not f*ck, shit, cunt its EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE.

Week 1 No Problem

Well it is Sun Jan 23, and yes I am still posting on my blog. Some people have celebrations after there 100th post or there first year, well I am celebrating a week. I am notorious for not updating, not returning emails, and just plan not giving a shit. It's not that I don't want to, because I do. I always find reasons mainly being to lazy to keep with things I start. Well not now I am new and improved, locked cocked and ready to rock, or any other cliche that sounds good.

Today was great, I woke up to jingle of my yahoo messenger at about 7am, an ole friend from Germany couldn't sleep so she decided to wake me up. I mean my away message could have been mistaken for me being up and available, it did say "Snuggled up in my warm bed, searching for good dreams". Hey what can I say she is a blonde who died her hair brown, but I still know she blonde. Before you blondes try and kick my ass remember this I have dirty blonde hair so in the summer my roots show my true blonde identity. So this gives me the right to bash on my kind. We chatted for awhile since she just recently got her net hooked back up after moving. Plus I think she still has feelings deep down inside about me even though the last time we were an item she threw me out like the tomato you didn't want on your burger anyways. I was her rebound from a marriage thing I guess and she was confused. So confused that she dumped me after driving 2hrs home from my house via the internet at hers after spending the weekend like usual. Is that not cold or what? Now that you know way to much about me not being an asshole and still talking to her you can realize I am trying to be better than most men.

Well lazy me put off getting groceries until around 12 o'clock. Big mistake because just as I was about to get in the store, the loud siren for recall to work went off. Meaning I had to run back to my dorm and get dressed in DMZ (Demilitarized Zone) bordering North and South Korea. Because of this we are forced to do exercises to prepare for war because there was no peace treaty between the two country's just a armistice. Wow I am going to have my spell check working overtime after this post. Needless to say I am working 12hr shifts all week sucking rubber (wearing gas mask and stuff, not sucking on MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) instead of the food I should have bought yesterday before this exercise kicked off. Now instead of searching the web for blogs to read and steal design ideas off, I will be sleeping.

This week should provide interesting on the Blog front and if I can make it I will be ready for anything.